Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
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