he wants to bone in the snuggie
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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