Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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