I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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