you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
COCAINE IS GR8
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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