In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
