That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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