I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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