he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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