The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She bit a glass in half.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
