So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
