how can u be prego again
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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