my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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