I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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