the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
