Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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