I love black thongs
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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