that's an acceptable place to lick
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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