Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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