I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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