My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You need a sexual gate keeper
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
