So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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