Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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