the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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