i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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