Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
