I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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