I have demons in me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
