it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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