i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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