I think I am morally bankrupt
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
