you guys were way drunker than both of me
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
