he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize