i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
