I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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