it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Rumble strips road head = magical
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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