I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
