I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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