so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
