if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
do herpes really smell.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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