We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
