i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
