This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
