Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
