fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
