Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
