i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize
