Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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