You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
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We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
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I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize