I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
