You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
