Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
