first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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