but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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