Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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