when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
it glows. i had to have it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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