Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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