guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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